The Ever Controversial Flu Shot

You know what, I am just sick and tired of hearing everyone bash the flu shot.  It grinds my gears, gets my goat, pisses me off to no avail.  Every time one of my friends posts about it on Facebook, I can feel my blood boil and my blood pressure rise a million miles a minute.

My first husband DIED because of H1N1 back in 2009.  You know why? Because he didn’t have the flu shot. Because he was one of the unlucky ones.

So here’s a big fuck you to all of you flu shot naysayers.  Go ahead and don’t get it if you don’t want, but don’t come crying back to me or society when someone in your family dies from the flu, because I just wont care.  I’ll say “I told you so”.

Never will one of my children or I skip the flu shot. I will not take risks with my children’s heath, and I refuse to let that disease ruin my life for a second time.  Do you know what H1N1 did to my husband?

First, it made him sick.  He had a very high fever and vomiting, and chills.  He was coughing like no body’s business..  He was really sick at the end of September 09, and I told him I was worried about him, and he said to me “Don’t worry, if I feel like I’m going to die, I’ll go to a hospital”.

I brought him to the hospital October 3d and he never came home.  H1N1 caused him to get the flu, bilateral multilobar pneumonia (which in layman’s terms means he had really awful pneumonia in BOTH lungs), and then it caused a blood clot.  The blood clot caused him to go into cardiac arrest.  There is nothing worse than hearing your husband’s last words, as he looks at you with a haunting look in his eyes, “I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe,  why can’t I breathe?”  I never got to talk to him again, only rub his legs in comfort, as the nurses rushed me out of the room as code blue was called.

So again…fuck you to all the flu shot naysayers.


*this post brought to you by another ignorant Facebook poster who has now been unfriended.  I’m going to go outside now and pick up my youngest from school because I can feel an anxiety attack hitting me as I write this. I don’t want to cry right now 😦


100 Things About Me

In my effort to write more on this blog, I figured I’d to the ever clichéd thing and tell you all 100 things about me.  But I’ll spread it out over a while, and maybe five or so posts so I don’t run out of things to say.

#1 This is me:

I took this photo in February I think.

#2.  I am 31 years old, and a widowed mother of four children.  They are 11, 11, 9 and 6.

#3.  When I was 18 years old, I met a guy on the internet.  We were married 1 year later, and had four wonderful children together before he died in October 2009.  Just 2.5 months before our 10th Wedding anniversary.

#4.  My husband and I only met in person one time before we were married. It was the day he proposed to me, and we only spent one day together. I lived in Edmonton, AB, and he was stationed overseas in Wiesbaden Germany (where we were married).  When I flew to Germany, I was there for only two weeks before we were married. So we met online Dec 98, met in person Aug 99, and were married Dec 99.

#5. I am Canadian by birth, Dutch by heritage, yet I live in the USA near Seattle.

#6. This fall I will be FINALLY getting my citizenship, and I am so excited for that.  It’s been a long time coming, and I can’t wait to finally be an actual citizen rather than just a Green Card holder.

#7.  The worst thing/things I have ever been through is watching my husband die, and having to come home and tell my kids their daddy died.

#8.  I am a VERY STRONG advocate for the Flu Vaccine with H1N1.  Simply stated, in my opinion, if you don’t get the flu vaccine, I think you’re a fucking idiot.  I don’t care if we’re friends or not, I’ll still think you’re an idiot if you don’t get it. My family included.

#9.  My 29-year-old husband died from H1N1 complications.

#10.  Photography is my passion, and I love my Canon 60D

#11.  I sleep in a king size bed 6 nights out of the week by myself, and I still sleep on only one side.  I’ve always been that way, even when I was younger and lived at home…only slept on one side of my bed.

#12.  I met my man, whom you all know as, Mr eHarmony, on eHarmony.  Duh! We’ve been dating for 6 months now!  Here are a couple pictures of us, taken back in October, on our 3d date I think.

Aren’t I a lucky girl? He’s my beefcake!

#13. I didn’t want to date Mr eHarmony at all because he is in the Army, but then I saw this photo, and I was like “Oh my, I have to get my hands on him”.  And I did.  Truth be told, it wasn’t his bulging pecs and big strong arms that won my heart, it was his sense of humor and ability to make me laugh so hard I can’t breathe and/or feel like I’m about to pee my pants.


#14.  I love to bake cupcakes, and do it for all the kids’ birthdays, and other random occasions.  I have some photos in this post.

#15  I used to be really fat. I’m still about 70lbs overweight, but I was even heavier. I lost 4-5 pant sizes in the first year after my husband died. I’m working to lose the last 3, but it’s been quite a struggle.  I’m getting there though!

#16  I hate exercise with a passion.  Yeah, it makes me feel good, and I’m proud of myself for doing it, but I hate it.

#17  I yell too much.

#18  I’m 31 and I still laugh at farts!

#19  Somethings I won’t go cheap on.  Those include makeup, and I stick to the brands I know that work.  So, Clinique for my foundation and coverup. MAC for my eyeshadow/mascara, and various other brands for other things.  Oh, and I think that Benefit’s Erase Paste is the best thing since sliced bread.

#20  My favorite perfume is Saint by Kat Von D.  Thanks to my sissy poo for buying me that and getting me hooked on it!

#21  l love to read, and once I find a good book, you can’t tear me away from it.  Hunger Games anyone?

#22  I need more female friends, I’m lonely a lot of the time.  But I also have trouble reaching out and making said friends; I hate to seem vulnerable and in need of/asking for help etc, even more so now since my husband died.

#23  I’m a really good cook and baker.

#24  One of the things I hate the most is being an only parent.  It’s also one of the hardest things I’ve ever done/am doing.  Talk about the weight of the world on your shoulders.

#25  I believe everything tastes better with bacon.