But you all already knew that. What you don’t know is that I’m getting married this month!
After much deliberation and endless discussions, Andrew and I decided to get hitched this month. October 27th to be exact. That day has no special meaning, it just happened to be the only day my sister could get off work. I wanted 10-11-12, but c’est la vie.
After weighing our options, we realized that because of a possible deployment, it was in ours, and the children’s, best interests to get married as soon as possible, rather than later on. The military pays married soldiers better, we get more of an allowance for housing, and I can get health insurance again. Plus, it takes care of the kids and I should something happen to Andrew in Afghanistan, god forbid. Also, in Kansas, the housing wait can be up to six months, and we need a house, so as soon as Andrew gets there, he is going on the housing list so we have a home when we arrive next summer. You can only get housing if you are married.
This decision was not an easy one to make. We had our rough moments earlier in September when we discussed it, but we got through it just fine. It also meant that because of our marriage, my citizenship hearing, and our trip to see his family next month, we have to skip attending my cousin’s wedding in Canada. I’m really bummed out about that, but we had to make the best decision for our family, and that event had to be cut. With my citizenship alone, I forked out almost $2000 for Lawyer’s fees, and USCIS fees. I also wasn’t sure if I should even tell the extended family we were getting married because I didn’t want that to affect their plans to come next year, but hopefully they will still come next year to support us. We’ll have lots of dancing and yummy food!
Yes, we are still having a wedding next year. I bought a dress already, and my friends and I have started some of the planning process. However, the little details and finalization of a date etc, will all have to wait until late December/early January when we find out for sure if Andy is being deployed. This wedding in October is a legal matter only…and while it is our marriage, we are so excited to be husband and wife, the big wedding-walking down the aisle-dancing-reception and honeymoon will come next year. Apparently a LOT of military couples do this, which I was not aware of. I did buy a cute cocktail dress, and he will wear his Class A’s, and we’re getting married in a friend’s living room. Nothing fancy at all, and my sister is doing my hair! We wont even have a honeymoon, unless you count doing a road trip down to Disneyland two weeks later with our four kids, and meeting my new in-laws, as a honeymoon?
I am so excited to marry the man whom I love! He’s an amazing person, more generous than I ever expected (let’s not let his ego get too big, he’s still a stubborn ass bachelor sometimes!), amazing with the kids (he is doing excellent in the dad role so far), and he’s my best friend. I can’t say enough good things about him…what else can you say about a man who is a bachelor and decided to marry a widow with four kids? I have to say though, it seems surreal to me to be a wife again. I’ve identified for so many years as Barry’s wife, and then his widow, that this new phase of my life might take me some time to adjust to as well. I’m going to be Andrew’s wife! Yaaay!
I’ll post soon about my shoe choices for this month…believe it or not, the shoes I am wearing were one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make! And muffins…I made bran muffins last night. I’ll post the recipe for that soon too 🙂