Call Me Ms. Pee-Body (Not Pea-Body)

I figured since I’ve taken almost a two month break,  I should probably update this blog on all that’s been happening since the middle of June.  I started this blog almost a year ago, and a year ago everything was different.  Hard to believe that it’s gone by that fast, isn’t it? As an adult, I find that life just flashes by so fast.  I will say though, I am glad that I’m not where I was last year, as I am much happier, my life is more content, and I have less stress.  And I am happy that I am one year ahead of the crap I was in last year.

Earlier this weekend, Mr eHarmony and I were about to embark upon a much-anticipated hike to Mt St Helens.  I was so stoked, as Mt St. Helens is one of my favorite places to go. It erupted May 18th, 1980, when I was still cooking in my mama’s belly, and ever since I was old enough to remember, I’ve been fascinated by it.  I even have an owl carving made out of Mt St. Helens ash that I picked up at Pike Place Market.

The babysitter got here at 6am while I was still putting on my hiking boots, and we were rushing around to get ready to go.  I was impatiently telling the Mr. to hurry up so we could go, as I was all ready.  I had one boot on, but noticed my back felt a little tight, so I asked him to lace up my second one.  After he did that for me, I stood up and walked over to the table to grab something, and immediately felt like I was about to fall over, and grabbed the table to keep my balance.  Then I sat in a chair because I didn’t know what was wrong.

Big Mistake.  Big huge immense mistake.

Because I was stuck.  And in the worst pain of my life.

Because I put my back out by putting my hiking boots on.

I’ll save you the gory details of the first couple hours, as I was crying because the pain was so bad, and hoping that the Mr. still had some leftover percocet at his apartment from his last surgery.  No dice however.  I couldn’t even move my arms without crying out in agony. Somehow though, over an hour and a half, we got me over to the couch and propped up with a million pillows and an ice pack, as I awaited the return of Mr. eHarmony and my middle daughter from the drugstore.

I had to pee really bad, but forced myself to wait as long as I could till he got back from the store, and could help me up of the couch.  I finally said to myself, screw it, I have to go, and had my 11-year-old son help me up as much as he could.  It probably took me a good 10 minutes to get off the couch and standing up, with the assistance of a cane.

Do you know how hard it is to walk with an extremely pinched nerve, lower back muscles so tight you can’t move your feet more than a few inches at a time, and a VERY full bladder? keep in mind, I’d been up for over four hours at this time and had only once gone to the bathroom.  I finally made it to the bathroom, and attempted to pull down my yoga pants as fast as I could.

And I was unsuccessful. Oh yes, I peed my pants.

Here’s the kicker though: As soon as I managed to sit down on the toilet seat, Mr eHarmony walked in the door. And I thought to myself, “it figures”.

I yelled out for him to come to the bathroom, and throwing all modesty aside, said “honey, I need help getting undressed, and I peed my pants”.  I didn’t know what else to do! I was laughing even though I was in agonizing pain, because this was the first really embarrassing moment I had in almost 10 months of dating.

Being the good guy that he is, and laughing the whole time, he pulled my pants and undies off me, found me some new ones, and helped me get dressed and back to the couch.  He even put my pee pants in the wash for me, haha.  And then the rest of the day, I was lovingly tormented with this video :

<iframe width=”420″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/bQlpDiXPZHQ&#8221; frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

 

P.S….I AM getting better now, but it’s taking a long time. I have seen a chiropractor and it’s helping, somewhat. In the meantime, I ice my back and try not to move too much for fear of aggravating it again.  Also, you really know your guy loves you when he helps you after you pee your pants, and are basically immobile.

 

 

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