“We Bought A Zoo”…

Because our power was out for almost five days, and the kids and I had cabin fever, Mr eHarmony and I decided to take them to a movie on saturday afternoon.

We saw “We Bought A Zoo”

I had no idea it was about a widower who lost his wife to cancer.

It just looked like a really great family flick, and I always like movies with Matt Damon because he looks just like my brother (seriously, they could be twins!!).  So we went to see it.

It was such an amazing movie, but what a cry fest. I tried to hold it in as much as I could, but I found tears rolling down my cheeks during the movie, and sniffles sneaking out.  And Mr eHarmony squeezing my hand letting me know he cared.

I identified so much with Matt’s character, with how hopeless and helpless he felt helping his kids grieve.  I went through that exact thing, and I couldn’t focus on them at all.  I still feel guilty about it to this day, but I was not physically capable of helping them navigate their grief journey as well as my own.  In many ways, I think I was on auto pilot, and just doing what I had to do to keep things as normal as I could for them.

I left their care to grief counselors and friends.  We went to a kids grief support group for almost a year, here in our town, on thursday nights.  We also attended a weekly summer group, and a bi-weekly group 45 minutes away.  And then the kids went to Camp Erin (just the older three, not the baby) for a weekend as well.

Having those groups for the kids was a lifeline for me and for them, because it allowed me to grieve and also help the kids at the same time.  I hope one day the kids will understand why I did what I did.  I just didn’t know how else to handle the grief.

I will be going to see the movie again.  I loved it, and will probably buy it when it comes out.  I am prepared to cry again.  Maybe I like it so much because I can identify with the characters so much? As hard as it was to watch it, it really spoke to me.  But next time I’ll bring tissues with me.


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