The Story Of How I Farted

I figure after telling so many funny stories about the kids, that perhaps it is time for me to share one of myself.

When I signed up for eHarmony, I mentioned in my profile that I wanted someone to have burping contests with, and believe it or not…that is how I caught my Mr eHarmony!  Yep, my desire to belch with my man is what won me his heart.  Now, Mr eHarmony and I have gradually become very comfortable with each other and our bodily functions, but I just don’t like to fart around him.  I don’t know why, but it’s just awkward! Obviously you know, there are those ones that are quiet, and no one hears them, but I don’t purposely go out of my way to fart in front of him like he does with me.

Well, since he and I have been dating for a couple of months now, and have been spending a lot of time together, gradually our personal barriers and walls are coming down.  He freely farts in front of me, and I howl with laughter every time…or else, I make a mock look of disgust on my face.  It is quite hilarious how he manages to fart right during the perfect romantic moment…like today, when we were standing under the mistletoe kissing before he left, we looked into each other’s eyes….and he farted.  He had this look on his face like Sylvester the cat got caught with Tweety bird in his mouth! HAH!

Let me backtrack to this morning though.  I’ve been working out with my trainer for a while now, and I’ve been doing really really well with my progress.  So well that I have surprised even myself!  Today Mr eHarmony decided to work out with my trainer and I, just for fun.  Really, she and I wanted to make him groan and bitch, and we succeeded.  Mr eHarmony, who does PT every day in the Army, successfully had his ass kicked.

This morning I was doing my crunches really well, and actually doing a full sit up while holding a medicine ball out in front of me.  I was totally in the zone, and talking to my trainer while I did it, and Mr eHarmony was laying perpendicular to me.  His head faced my feet, or basically, my lower half, and was a mere two feet from me.

Well, as I sat up doing a crunch, the loudest fart slipped out of my ass, right by Mr eHarmony’s head.

My eyes were wide as saucers as soon as that happened, and then I immediately fell onto my back and started howling with laughter along with Mr eHarmony and my trainer.  I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t even open my eyes.  Mr eHarmony had come next to me and as he was laughing, kissed me….and I can’t even remember what he said, but I couldn’t even look him in the eye. I was too embarrassed.

I know I made him proud though, because he’s been waiting for something like this to happen.  And I did it in the most embarrassing way ever…right by his head.




One thought on “The Story Of How I Farted

  1. Love it! I remember the first time I “fluffed” (my nice way of saying fart haha) in front of a boyfriend… we were wrestling around on the ground and he had me pinned really good, so I told him if he didn’t let me up I was going to fart on his head. Needless to say, he didn’t let me up so I let one rip! Farting is funny 🙂

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