Blackmailing Your Kids

I have the privilege of having four kids who constantly put their feet in their mouths, and yesterday was no exception.  By putting their feet in their mouth, I mean saying things that are wildly inappropriate, but innocent to a mere child.

Yesterday the kids, Mr eHarmony, and I, all ventured up to Seattle for the day.  Mr eHarmony has said that he feels for the kids, being left behind when he and I go on dates all the time, so he has decided to make one Saturday a month for them when we go out and do something fun that involves them.  So it was Seattle this month, and then in January we will probably go to the mountains to play in the snow.

Our first stop of the day yesterday was Archie McPhee, which has a plethora of random crap like bacon breath mints, giant horse head masks and potato guns.  All six of us were perusing the store, and as usual, my middle daughter E had a hard time picking something out.  She is very much like me in that regard.  The twins got fake mustaches, and V got gnarly teeth, and M a potato gun.  The baby A picked  out a 3 foot long rubber lizzard that she named….Bacon.  But E…she just couldn’t pick out what to buy.  She hemmed and hawed over and over, and then finally found a bacon flavored lollipop. She had a bit more money to spend, and then I found a rubber chicken and showed it to her.  E’s face lit up and she grabbed it out of my hands as I handed it to her.

There is nothing wrong with a rubber chicken, right? Wrong.

Mr eHarmony and I were chatting away in the car as we drove off, the kids happily playing with their spoils in the back of the Honda, and then all of a sudden we heard this…

“I’M CHOKING THE CHICKEN”

Our eyes as wide as saucers, we slowly turned our heads towards each other, and then came the laughter.  Hysterical laughter.  We couldn’t stop, and I was unable to breathe I was laughing so hard.

As I told my sister later on what E had said, she informed me of another winner that Miss E had had just last year, probably June of 2010.  The kids went to Camp Erin, and they all needed new sandals.  I guess I had bought E some really awesome sandals that had velcro straps on them.  Apparently when I gave E her sandals last year, she said…

“These are some great strap-ons”

Wow.  I can’t wait till she and the other three are older, and we can share all of this with them when they will finally be able to understand exactly what they said.  And it’s also times like this that I wish I could share with my late husband because he would have cried from laughing so hard.  I love hearing the kids say hilarious lines like this, they are so funny.

 

Advertisements

One thought on “Blackmailing Your Kids

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s